Bittersweet
by TheRealRenee
Summary: // Chapter 6 now up \\ The tale of a bittersweet farewell. Spoilers: Night before Taboo Tuesday 2005. Trish, Christian, Lita, Edge
1. Chapter 1

_Monday, October 31, 2005_

She felt numb... Every once of her entire being felt just positively, completely numb, as though not wanting to believe the truth. Yet, at the same time, she felt a gaping emptiness that reached all the way down into her very core.

Trish Stratus shook her head at the words her friend had just spoken to her through her cell phone moments earlier. Amy Dumas had phoned her to tell her the news, not wanting her to go online on her computer and find out that way. The redhead's words echoed and reverberated through her head.

_"Jay is quitting... He's leaving the WWE after Taboo Tuesday. Adam just told me about it."_ Amy had gone on, explaining how Jay Reso had told Adam Copeland, her boyfriend and his best friend, how he was fed up with the WWE burying him, how they wanted to cut his salary in half.

Trish was astonished. Why would the company she loved to work for treat such a talented, loyal employee that way? Her brain simply couldn't comprehend it all. Jay deserved better. He deserved _far_ better. His character of Christian had been on a major losing streak ever since he'd been drafted to SmackDown back in June. In fact, to the little blonde's recollection, he'd won a grand total of one match, against Booker T. And while the short-haired Canadian had been briefly feuding with the former five-time WCW Champion, the company had flirted with the idea of having Booker's wife, Sharmell, turn on her husband to go with Christian. Trish was beyond glad that had never happened, as she had to admit, she'd been jealous. However, now that looked like it would have been a good idea... Maybe it would have kept Jay from being buried, and prevented him from making the decision to leave.

She didn't want to see him go. In general, she didn't want him to go. They had a past together, as they'd dated for about a year and a half, until they'd broken up - ironically, shortly after their onscreen personas had.

Although it had pretty much been a mutual breakup, it had hit Trish so hard. She loved Jay Reso - only she'd been scared to actually say it. She hated herself for that. Toward the end of their relationship, he'd told her he loved her for the very first time. Her response had been to merely grin like an idiot, then grow serious facially and go speechless. It had been truly mortifying, and the little blonde knew Jay had been feeling humiliated. Then, approximately two and a half weeks later, it was over. And she'd felt like the ultimate fool.

Coming back to reality, Trish bit her lip as she stared down at the cell phone she still held in her hand. She wanted in the worst way to call him... He couldn't leave without knowing. She wouldn't allow herself to let him leave, walk out of her life forever without saying anything. And damn it, Jason Reso deserved to hear those words from her - even if they were no longer a couple.

Hastily, Trish pushed buttons on the phone to bring Jay's number up on the display. She stared at it for a moment, her heart thumping loudly in her ears. All she had to do was press the "call" button and she'd reach him, hear his wonderful voice.

But she didn't do it. She didn't make that call. Instead, she decided she had to do this in person. She would wait until the next night, at the Taboo Tuesday pay-per-view.


	2. Chapter 2

_Tuesday, November 1, 2005_

Trish wrung her hands nervously as she paced the small length of the women's locker room. She didn't care about the match in which she would be competing later, the only concern in her mind Jay. She wanted so desperately for him to win the votes in the RAW versus SmackDown tag team match. He deserved it... He deserved one last chance to shine in front of the WWE fans.

Amy and Adam were of course already out there, and waiting in the ring with Chris Masters to find out which two of the five SmackDown stars would be competing. Coach announced that Todd Grisham was standing backstage with the five hopefuls. And then, Jay's kind, handsome face filled the screen of the television monitor.

Trish stood still and kept her gaze glued to his visage, her breath catching in her throat. How had she ever let him go? And then, she supposed that, in her heart, she never had after all.

Todd announced the votes from the fans, the poll showing on the screen. Instinctively, the tiny blonde crossed her fingers, her breath held. It had to be Jay - it had to. But then, much to her dismay, the winners were announced - Rey Mysterio and Matt Hardy would be in the match. Trish grew angry as she noted that Hardy had won more votes than anyone else - and she knew it had to have been rigged. She felt sick as she caught Jay's expression on the screen again. While he'd appeared somewhat cheery before, he now looked slightly annoyed, and Trish couldn't blame him. She actually felt tears coming to her eyes.

It was disgusting... That abusive and sickening bastard Hardy, who'd put her two friends through sheer hell, had beaten out Jay for the spot. It was enough to make the little blonde want to lose her lunch.

She stuck around just long enough to hear Lita announce that Edge would not be competing that night, and then the tall blond man concur, going on to tell everyone watching and listening that he didn't care about RAW. Trish found it a peculiar thing to occur, but she knew that Adam had dislocated a shoulder and torn a pectoral two weeks earlier on RAW.

Only after Gene Snitsky made his appearance to replace the tall Canadian in the match did the blonde woman leave the locker room...

... She had to see Jay.

Quickening her steps as she meandered down the hallway, Trish noticed John Layfield and Bob Holly, the other two SmackDown stars who had been left over to not compete. She knew Jay had to be close by. She hurried along, and then she saw him ahead of the others, as the three began making their way out of the area. Her heart raced as she craned her neck, watching after him.

"Jay - wait!"

All three turned around to stare at her, and Trish felt her cheeks burning. A second later, Holly and Layfield continued on their way as Jay stood there watching her.

"Trish... Hey." His expression brightened, and as she stepped ever closer, he edged toward her as well, meeting her halfway.

The little blonde was slightly out of breath as she gazed up into those blue eyes so deep, she could lose herself in them.

"Jay, I... I heard you're leaving," she began, her heart breaking for the second time over him.

"Yeah... I am," the blond man replied. Unlike the way he appeared just earlier on the TV monitor, he now looked somewhat saddened, regretful.

"Well..." Trish forced a smile she didn't feel, her gaze dropping from his eyes as she went on. Would he see through her facade? She'd never been that good at concealing her true emotions. "... I couldn't let you go without saying a proper goodbye." She raised her gaze back to his handsome face, meeting his blue eyes yet again. Her breath was nearly lost by the sheer intensity she saw in those beautiful orbs. She couldn't tell him here.

Jay felt lousy. On one hand, he hated how the company was treating him and had been for months now, but at the same time, he felt horrible. Would he ever see this beautiful, charming, sweet woman again? The thought of the answer to that question being negative was enough to tear him apart. So they'd broken up over a year earlier... That didn't mean he didn't still see her in his dreams. That didn't mean she wasn't on his mind, in his thoughts practically every waking moment of his life... That didn't mean he no longer cared for her. And that also didn't mean he didn't wish they were together again.


	3. Chapter 3

"Yeah," Trish said, desperate to contain the extreme sadness she felt. It threatened to overwhelm her, and she hoped she wouldn't start crying. "So... I heard you're... leaving after tonight?"

"Mmhmm," Jay said with a slow nod. "I am." he stared deeply into the little blonde's beautiful brown eyes, and a calmness just came over him. He always knew he could just about lose himself in those soulful chocolate depths. He hated the thought that he would not be able to gaze into those dark, serene orbs on a regular basis come tomorrow. Why had they ever broken up? He'd loved her... He _still_ loved her.

"I..." Trish stammered as she got the notion of an uncomfortable silence hanging between them. "... I'm sorry you weren't voted into that interbrand tag match." She reached out with her right hand, just brushing it against his arm. "Personally, I thought it should have been you and Rey to compete."

Jay glanced down at her hand upon the brief, delicious contact. It seemed as though it had been so long since he'd felt her touch, even as innocently as this.

"Yeah... Thanks," he said dejectedly. He glanced down for a beat, not exactly knowing what to say. Well, that wasn't actually true. He could think of a dozen things he wanted to say to Trish Stratus, but he just couldn't work up the nerve. He'd had that problem ever since they'd broken up.

"Well, I..." The blonde woman crossed her arms over her breasts for a second, her thumb hooking over her shoulder. "... I've got a match to get ready for, so I'll go." Despite the words, her feet felt as though they were mired in mud. She bit her lip, about to turn around, but then stopped herself. "... Jay, I..." Trish's face began to crumple with emotion as she met those incredible cerulean blue eyes of his. "... Oh, hell - I'm really going to miss you!" Easily, she allowed herself to fall against him, the tears rolling down her cheeks as she felt the blond man's arms wind around her in an embrace. And God, it felt so good to be in his arms once again.

Jay was dumbfounded by the tiny blonde's reaction. Never in a million years would he have expected her to break down and cry - especially over him. She was normally so strong, so in control over her emotions. He almost didn't know what to make of this. But he kept her in his embrace, enjoying the feel of her small body against him. He burrowed his face into her long blonde hair, inhaling deeply of the lovely fragrance of her shampoo. She smelled like fresh strawberries.

"Shh..." he soothed, his right hand stroking up and down over her back. To think that before a mere two months ago, she had been out of action and away as she'd been suffering from bulging discs in that graceful back. "... Hey... Trish, it's okay." He pulled back just enough to gaze down into her sorrow-filled little face, the expression on it and the tears in her eyes breaking his heart. He placed one hand under her chin, tipping her head up so that their eyes met. "It'll be okay - I promise."

Trish blinked through still more tears, her chin quivering. How could it ever be okay as long as Jay would be away from her? It had been bad enough when they'd broken up, and even worse when he'd been drafted to SmackDown - but now he was leaving the WWE altogether. She didn't think her heart could take that.

"Hey," the short-haired blond man said, forcing a smile for her benefit, "I'm only going to TNA, not to the moon." He gently pinched her chin, hoping to get at least a tiny semblance of a smile out of that remark. There really wasn't one, though.

Trish nodded, although she didn't seem capable of speaking anymore at this point.

"I'll tell you what," Jay said, his expression grown serious once again. "How about later, you and I go out for some coffee and talk? Just the two of us."

The little blonde gazed up at him, tears still shimmering in her eyes. She parted her lips to speak, but all she could manage was to nod.


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: I'd like to thank Inday and TrishOrton for reviewing this story! ;)_**

Jay stood in the arena hallway just outside the women's locker room in wait. Since he hadn't wrestled at all that night, he hadn't had to shower, and he'd gotten dressed quickly and come out early enough to meet her.

Trish's demeanor earlier had actually surprised him. He knew that she still cared about him, but the last thing he'd expected was for her to cry. It had always torn at his heart to see tears on that beautiful face, and he certainly didn't want to be the cause of them.

The locker room door opened a few times as women emerged, and he perked up each time, expecting the blonde to exit. So far, he'd come up short in his expectations. He heard her voice once or twice but had yet to see her. And then, the door opened again and he saw Amy Dumas step outside first. Trish was on her other side, the taller woman momentarily obstructing his view of her.

"I'll talk to you later," he heard her say to the redhead.

"Oh... Hi, Jay." Amy offered him a smile and a wave before she turned and continued down the hallway.

"Hey," the short-haired blond man said as his gaze fell upon Trish.

"Hey." She smiled, but it was tiny and seemed forced. She gazed into his eyes for a few seconds before bowing her head a little. It seemed she had trouble keeping up the eye contact. She bit her lip as Jay came closer to her, her eyes closing momentarily as his arm encircled her at the waist. Why did things have to be so painful, and so difficult?

As they left the arena and stepped outside, the cool, somewhat crisp air brought Trish back to her senses. They stood there for a beat as she gestured toward the parking lot with one hand.

"I... I came here with Amy and Adam, so we should take _your_ rental."

Jay nodded and looked her squarely in the eye.

"That would be a good idea. Come on." He led the way to his rental car, which was a silver Nissan Maxima. When they reached the vehicle, he unlocked the passenger's side door first, opening it for her to slide in. When she did, he made sure she was securely inside before he slammed it back shut.

He went around to the front and slid into the driver's side. He could actually feel Trish's brown eyes on him as he put the key in the ignition. He couldn't help wondering what she was thinking. Hell, he couldn't help but wonder what he himself had been thinking.

They drove in relative silence sans the car radio. Trish wanted in the worst way to just spill out her guts, tell him right then and there how she truly felt.

Jay kept driving and wasn't exactly even sure of where he was going. He knew he had asked Trish to go out for coffee with him after the show, but the truth was, he hadn't the foggiest idea of where to go. There were places along the road they could stop... But he didn't like the idea of taking her to a McDonald's on the highway by an exit for a coffee.

He strained his eyes as he surveyed places in the immediate area. Finally, he spotted a nice-looking cafe. That would surely suffice, rather than resorting to a fast food joint.

"How about we go in there?" he asked, pointing toward her right.

The little blonde peered out her window. Beyond was a small cafe called _Cream of the Crop_. She thought it had a funny but cute name.

"All right, sounds good," she said with a nod. She chanced a quick glance at him and swallowed hard. It was difficult not to get choked up, knowing tonight had been his very last appearance with the WWE. What was she going to do now?

They left the rental and made their way inside. They were greeted by a cheerful young woman who seated them at a small table near the back, and were handed menus. Trish could barely keep her gaze on it to decide what to get but knew it didn't really matter. She was here for Jay, to speak with him, not to sip coffee.

A waitress came by a short while later to take their orders. Trish requested a decaf diet cappuccino while Jay ordered an espresso.

Once their menus were removed and the waitress left, the Canadian man templed his fingers, hands resting on the tabletop. He merely stared at the beautiful woman seated across from him.

"So..." He couldn't manage more than that at the moment and was at a loss for words. Where would one even begin when basically saying goodbye to Trish Stratus?

"So..." She too had lost her speech. She had so many things she had to say to him, far too many. She didn't even know where to begin. And she could feel those pesky tears threatening her once again.

"Well," Jay said, deciding to take over the proverbial reins, "it's been quite an experience." He supposed he half-meant his time in the WWE. The other half was of course knowing the beauty across from him. She was definitely someone special, to be cherished.

"Jay..." Trish cut in, raising her head to peer deep into those cerulean eyes of his. "... I don't know how else to say this, but..." She bit her lip, her heart breaking. "... Don't go."

He cocked his head as he read all the emotions swimming in her brown eyes. She was hurting - he could see that. He reached across the table for her small, lovely hand and held it in his larger one.

She felt butterflies inside. It had been far too long since she had felt his touch, even in so innocent a fashion. She parted her lips to say more, but the waitress suddenly returned with their beverages. The woman placed them before them, and silence reigned supreme.

Trish gazed at Jay, willing him to read her mind. She wanted in the worst way for him to know what she was thinking, what she was feeling.


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: Thanks to TrishOrton and peace love peace for the last set of reviews. :) I am SO sorry it's been so many months between updates! But this story is back with an all new chapter, and I hope you enjoy it!_**

"What?" Jay squinted as he peered into her beautiful, troubled face. He knew he'd heard her correctly, but he couldn't comply with her request - no matter how pleading a tone her voice had taken.

"You heard me, Jay... Don't go." Trish eyed him with the purest form of anguish written on her lovely face and in those chocolate-brown orbs.

"I _have_ to, Trish," he said sadly, and sighed as he pointed out the obvious. "My contract is not going to be renewed, and I'm going to TNA."

The little blonde stared at him blankly.

"You what?"

Jay swallowed hard, the fact that she had suddenly pulled her small hand free of his gentle grip not lost on him. He knew she would react negatively to this bit of news, as she was fiercely loyal to the WWE. Prior to signing with the company, she had also been offered a contract to work with WCW, but she'd turned that down in favor of the McMahon empire.

"I'm going to TNA," he repeated, his gaze staying on her.

The blonde woman was quiet for the longest time, to the point that it was almost awkward. She cast her gaze down as her head bowed, and she seemed to be studying the coffee in the cup set aside in front of her, as though admiring it.

Jay nearly held his breath as he watched her. He had somewhat of an inkling as to what she might be thinking... Yet, at the same time, he thought he really didn't have a clue.

"Trish?"

Finally, the Canadian diva raised her head, and her eyes didn't seem to be very telling. She was oddly, maybe even eerily calm as she spoke next.

"Oh, I see." She honestly had nothing negative to say in response to his TNA admission. She knew a few wrestlers there. Some were former WWE stars, and a few were friends of hers. Fellow Canadian Gail Kim was only one person in that category who sprang to mind.

"I'll be on the expected three-month hiatus after tonight," the short-haired blond man said. "And then, after that, I'm going to sign with them. I've actually already talked with Jeff and Jerry Jarrett about it."

"Oh." Trish had definite trouble focusing, and she suddenly realized that it felt as though the entire room - or maybe it was just her head - was spinning. Jay was just going on and on, and it was as though he was already out of her life. After all, he'd already made plans in a new world, a world that did not and _would_ not include her. She felt tears flooding her eyes.

The man seated across from her was silent as he studied her, but he felt the knife twist deep inside his heart at her suddenly burst of emotion. God, she was about to cry... He'd never expected this kind of reaction out of her, and he felt like utter shit for it.

"Don't cry... Please don't." He blinked his own emotion as he again reached for her hand. Giving it a small squeeze, he peered into her beautiful, albeit sad face. He never could stand to see Trish Stratus in tears.

The tiny blonde shook her head.

"Easier said than done," she moaned.

Pushing back his espresso with his free hand, the Canadian had another idea.

"Let's get out of here."

She merely sniffled and wiped away her tears as he reached for his wallet to pay for their beverages. Blindly, he pulled out some bills and placed them on the part of the table nearest the wall. Afterward, he rose and offered Trish a hand to help her up. She took it, and they left the cafe.

They walked back to his rental, and she was grateful to be out of the quaint little coffee house. However, nothing could assuage the sick feeling gnawing at the pit of her stomach. After all, Jay was leaving. He would most likely adopt a whole new life after tonight, probably forget all about her.

"So... What do we do now?" He eyed her helplessly as they were both buckled into their respective seats in the car. He felt helpless at the moment, but one thing he knew with absolute certainty was that he didn't want to call it a night yet. If anything, he wanted to savor this night with Trish, spend as many minutes, hours, seconds, whatever, with her as possible.

"Can we just go back to the hotel?" the blonde asked, her voice tinged with misery. She sniffled before speaking again. "I really just want to talk."

Jay nodded, his heart nearly breaking at the look on her face, although it was half-hidden by shadows.

"If Trish Stratus wants to talk back at the hotel, that's what we'll do." He started the engine, and they drove.


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N: Thanks to TrishOrton and Glamagirl for the last set of reviews! :)_**

Trish was no longer crying when they got back to the hotel. However, she still felt on the verge of doing so again and found herself unable to stop sniffling.

"We're here," she heard Jay tell her. She raised her head and gazed out the window to see that they had indeed arrived. Slowly, she unfastened her seatbelt and unlocked her door - only to realize that the blond man had gotten out first. He had already opened the passenger's side door for her and had a hand extended to help her out. She gratefully accepted it.

Jay got their belongings out of the trunk, and they toted their bags toward the hotel's entrance.

In no time, they were at Trish's hotel room, and it was then that the little blonde felt more than ever that she was going to once again lose the battle against her tears. She sniffled more fiercely, willing them not to return to her. On one hand, she wanted to be strong, not to mention coherent, when she talked to the man. On the other, she'd already broken down in front of him, which obviously showed emotion... and she was _planning_ on expressing her feelings toward him.

Tossing her bag aside, Trish allowed herself to sink onto the mattress of her hotel bed. She took a deep sigh and ran her hands through her long blonde hair, her eyes closing. In truth, she was absolutely exhausted, both physically and mentally.

Jay pulled up the desk chair so that it was facing the bed from her side and sat down. He was silent for a moment as he folded his hands, thinking. Then, he raised his gaze to her face and was blown away, certainly not for the first time, by her beauty.

"Well," he said, "we're here... alone, just the two of us."

Trish eyed him somberly. Now was her chance, and lord knew, she _had_ to take that chance.

"We can talk privately now."

The tiny blonde nodded almost imperceptively. She pushed some stray strands of hair away from her face and sighed.

"You're right... Okay," she said. She gazed directly into his blue eyes and felt as though she could lose herself in those deep cerulean pools.

Jay cocked his head as he sensed the woman was having difficulty getting out the words he knew she needed to say. Slowly, he reached out and grasped her hand.

Trish held her breath as it caught at the gentle, affectionate contact. Her gaze traveled from his eyes to their hands, and she clasped his, enjoying the feel of it. Then, she exhaled, trying to steel herself, and spoke.

"I don't want you to go, Jay... and it's not for any selfish motive like not liking TNA or anything like that."

He studied her with kind, compassionate orbs as she continued.

"I've wanted to talk to you for days," she confessed, "ever since Amy told me you were leaving. And when she told me, I... I felt as though all the breath had left my body." Trish cast her gaze low, as though afraid to see his reaction in his facial expression. "I know it sounds corny, but it was as though my heart literally stopped. All I could think of was, 'no more Jay.'"

The short-haired blond man caressed her hand with the pad of his thumb. All along, he kept his gaze on her lovely but sad face.

"And when I think about that," Trish continued, "it really stings. I mean, it really, _really_ pains me that you won't be there anymore." A single tear slipped down her cheek. "Because," she went on, "to be perfectly honest, I... I never really got over you, Jay." Her last sentence came out along with a choked half-sob.

_I never really got over you, Jay_.

The confession rang loud and clear in the Canadian's head, nearly bowling him over. Was Trish actually saying she was still in love with him? Many a time since their breakup, he had wondered if she still had any feelings for him. He'd wondered because he knew he still held a torch for her. Her admission almost seemed too good to be true.

"Trish," he murmured, placing the fingertips of his free hand up against her cheek. Her smooth, flawless skin was moistened by tears. "I feel the same way," he admitted. "I never got over you, either."

The little blonde's breath caught, and she stared wonderingly up into his eyes. His hand on her cheek was so soft and tender, she nearly melted at the feel of it. She felt her lips being drawn to his as he gently cupped her face. She craned her neck as their lips finally met in a passionate kiss, and she grabbed hold of his head, deepening it.


End file.
